








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 351 | 19% |
| Smokes | 566 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 382 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 573 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $134,508 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lysop | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | ND | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | hayanh- | 88% | 8 |
| #4 | FoG :v) | 85% | 13 |
| #5 | Cl34v3rs™ | 83% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | syniix | 43% | 14 |
| #16 | Levitas | 43% | 14 |
| #17 | McPeace | 42% | 12 |
| #18 | Shice | 40% | 5 |
| #19 | Johnny R. | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levitas | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | syniix | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | χ roxorszszs | 1 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Cl34v3rs™ | 1 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Askan | 100 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #2 | UN1TY | 70 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | syniix | 36 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | χ roxorszszs | 27 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | McPeace | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Askan | +5.15 | 93 | 76 |
| #2 | ND | +4.75 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | j1NZO | +4.16 | 93 | 62 |
| #4 | OneLion | +2.31 | 76 | 67 |
| #5 | Marcimeister | +2.28 | 67 | 72 |





