








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1141 | 23% |
| Smokes | 897 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1588 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1393 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,894 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zapher☕ | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | The Dust 2 Batman | 49% | 49 |
| #3 | DontGlue | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Folie | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | Vivi <3 | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Folie | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Slamming Avant-Cyber Shitgrind | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | andromeda | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | The Dust 2 Batman | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | I love trans communists | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slamming Avant-Cyber Shitgrind | 208 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | andromeda | 107 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Willow_The_Wisp | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vivi <3 | 31 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | zapher☕ | 29 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Folie | +7.34 | 79 | 27 |
| #2 | the pooltoy | +7.07 | 54 | 51 |
| #3 | zapher☕ | +6.09 | 54 | 42 |
| #4 | I love trans communists | +2.42 | 55 | 28 |
| #5 | Vivi <3 | +0.69 | 50 | 13 |





