








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1141 | 23% |
| Smokes | 897 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1588 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1393 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,821 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zafer | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Lily | 49% | 49 |
| #3 | DontGlue | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Lil_E | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | Ivy ♥ | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil_E | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Slamming Avant-Cyber Shitgrind | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Maudular | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Lily | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Jackie, The Pumpkin NB | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slamming Avant-Cyber Shitgrind | 172 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Maudular | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Willow_The_Wisp | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ivy ♥ | 31 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | DontGlue | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil_E | +7.34 | 84 | 33 |
| #2 | slikktic | +7.07 | 56 | 55 |
| #3 | zafer | +6.09 | 58 | 46 |
| #4 | Jackie, The Pumpkin NB | +2.42 | 61 | 34 |
| #5 | Ivy ♥ | +0.69 | 52 | 18 |





