








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2666 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6282 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 1752 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3366 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,364,668 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivy ♥ | 48% | 44 |
| #2 | Sylvia_Ambermoon | 45% | 210 |
| #3 | Willow_The_Wisp | 45% | 217 |
| #4 | Maeday | 45% | 94 |
| #5 | Lily | 44% | 372 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willow_The_Wisp | 606 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Lily | 430 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | Sylvia_Ambermoon | 288 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Maeday | 135 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ivy ♥ | 75 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sylvia_Ambermoon | +1.33 | 48 | 32 |
| #2 | Slamming Avant-Cyber Shitgrind | +0.85 | 30 | 34 |
| #3 | Maeday | -0.01 | 59 | 54 |
| #4 | Willow_The_Wisp | -0.05 | 19 | 58 |
| #5 | Lily | -1.03 | 47 | 23 |





