








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 454 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1828 | 43% |
| Smokes | 970 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 888 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 557 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $550,535 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Willow_The_Wisp | 42% | 149 |
| #5 | DontGlue | 41% | 41 |
| #6 | Sylvia_Ambermoon | 41% | 284 |
| #7 | jjbeast00 | 40% | 43 |
| #8 | Trashcan | 34% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slamming Avant-Cyber Shitgrind | 993 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #2 | Sylvia_Ambermoon | 447 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | Willow_The_Wisp | 401 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | jjbeast00 | 156 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Maeday | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sylvia_Ambermoon | +1.84 | 46 | 35 |
| #2 | Slamming Avant-Cyber Shitgrind | +1.73 | 30 | 33 |
| #3 | Maeday | +0.40 | 50 | 56 |
| #4 | Willow_The_Wisp | +0.01 | 16 | 57 |
| #5 | jjbeast00 | -0.07 | 28 | 50 |





