








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 919 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 129 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3312 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2310 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2762 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3063 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,349,937 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1441 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 127mjb | 435 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | VNTY | Xijing Ping Peek | 368 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | Capybara | 258 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | CDJ | 200 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rad1o | 144 | 0.11 | 4 min |





