








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 949 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 484 matches | ||
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9684 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7442 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8851 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 8661 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,596,416 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polaris | 58% | 92 |
| #2 | brokeyy | 57% | 60 |
| #3 | ファラオ | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | .eKcoL | 55% | 40 |
| #5 | fkg | 55% | 266 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .eKcoL | +3.75 | 92 | 71 |
| #2 | brokeyy | +1.83 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | LoSo | +1.76 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | fkg | +0.81 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | Polaris | +0.57 | 52 | 48 |





