








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 753 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9064 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9615 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7315 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 8729 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,215,465 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 905 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smada | 54% | 109 |
| #2 | s3kt | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | w h i t e b o y | 52% | 114 |
| #4 | Typical | 51% | 69 |
| #5 | MIKE MIKE MIKE MIKE | 49% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Typical | 51% | 69 |
| #5 | MIKE MIKE MIKE MIKE | 49% | 69 |
| #6 | tsuk1yom1 | 48% | 64 |
| #7 | Snail Trail | 44% | 114 |
| #8 | improv | 43% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w h i t e b o y | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Snail Trail | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Typical | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | smada | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | improv | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w h i t e b o y | 388 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Typical | 317 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #3 | MIKE MIKE MIKE MIKE | 289 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | smada | 218 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | tsuk1yom1 | 164 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snail Trail | +1.64 | 80 | 33 |
| #2 | smada | +0.89 | 78 | 57 |
| #3 | w h i t e b o y | +0.47 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | christy | +0.13 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | Typical | +0.10 | 72 | 60 |





