








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 937 | 28% |
| Smokes | 572 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 675 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1190 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,121,851 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tsuk1yom1 | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Typical | 44% | 106 |
| #3 | s3kt | 44% | 50 |
| #4 | christy | 44% | 114 |
| #5 | Nasty | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Typical | 44% | 106 |
| #3 | s3kt | 44% | 50 |
| #4 | christy | 44% | 114 |
| #5 | Nasty | 42% | 33 |
| #6 | improv | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | christy | 13 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Typical | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | s3kt | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | improv | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | tsuk1yom1 | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | christy | 479 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Typical | 457 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | s3kt | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | tsuk1yom1 | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | improv | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snail Trail | +1.97 | 79 | 34 |
| #2 | tsuk1yom1 | +0.70 | 44 | 59 |
| #3 | Typical | -0.33 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | christy | -0.75 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | improv | -1.69 | 72 | 51 |





