










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Wingman | 158 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2444 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2644 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2662 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3165 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,954,377 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 772 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WE HAWT | 51% | 107 |
| #2 | Zorojuro | 45% | 38 |
| #3 | christy | 43% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WE HAWT | 51% | 107 |
| #2 | Zorojuro | 45% | 38 |
| #3 | christy | 43% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WE HAWT | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | christy | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Zorojuro | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | christy | 295 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Zorojuro | 104 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | WE HAWT | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | improv | +1.71 | 76 | 45 |
| #2 | christy | +1.04 | 67 | 57 |
| #3 | WE HAWT | -0.85 | 58 | 38 |
| #4 | Zorojuro | -1.32 | 75 | 66 |





