








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 781 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 233 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,842 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3485 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3253 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 963 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 2755 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,027,538 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mange | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | hormuki | 61% | 59 |
| #3 | Stack Overdog | 59% | 68 |
| #4 | nALLEn☁ | 57% | 95 |
| #5 | Latcharen | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sjöbblas | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Latcharen | 7 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | gay | 6 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | wAA1L | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Nero | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nero | 657 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #2 | nALLEn☁ | 515 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #3 | hormuki | 283 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | Stack Overdog | 271 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | wAA1L | 228 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nALLEn☁ | +2.11 | 73 | 81 |
| #2 | wAA1L | +1.18 | 81 | 70 |
| #3 | Nero | +0.69 | 78 | 78 |
| #4 | hormuki | +0.65 | 81 | 67 |
| #5 | gay | +0.63 | 69 | 53 |





