








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 749 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 193 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 2,126 | |
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4260 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3488 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3097 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2617 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $460,963 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latcharen | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Mange | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | hormuki | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | Stack Overdog | 54% | 67 |
| #5 | nALLEn☁ | 53% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DembeR | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | sjöbblas | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | wAA1L | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | nALLEn☁ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Latcharen | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nALLEn☁ | 648 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | hormuki | 393 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #3 | DembeR | 376 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Stack Overdog | 257 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | wAA1L | 167 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nALLEn☁ | +2.14 | 72 | 79 |
| #2 | hormuki | +0.77 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | Nero | +0.74 | 75 | 77 |
| #4 | DembeR | +0.04 | 76 | 66 |
| #5 | sjöbblas | -0.11 | 79 | 60 |





