








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 286 | 36% |
| Smokes | 185 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 166 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 167 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $102,356 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Hecle01 #gurkentruppe | 71% | 7 |
| #10 | no1 | 60% | 5 |
| #11 | 3D2YSilveR | 50% | 4 |
| #12 | Spex | 50% | 4 |
| #13 | ReXz|Delta | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spex | 1 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eugeeen | 54 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | MichaH | 54 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #3 | 3D2YSilveR | 34 | 0.44 | 1 min |
| #4 | Spex | 30 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #5 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | 18 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spex | +6.08 | 96 | 93 |
| #2 | fRESh | +4.97 | 81 | 96 |
| #3 | Zazu | +3.90 | 74 | 51 |
| #4 | Eugeeen | +2.85 | 60 | 73 |
| #5 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | +1.40 | 74 | 71 |





