








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3627 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6951 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3655 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4970 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,868,091 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 545 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GamerGoodie | 61% | 96 |
| #2 | haroldhive | 58% | 79 |
| #3 | BeanFerrett | 58% | 83 |
| #4 | Swol Cheese | 56% | 85 |
| #5 | KouwyNツ | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | t0fu | 46% | 179 |
| #13 | Huch | 46% | 132 |
| #14 | Frigid | 39% | 46 |
| #15 | BeanCarrot | 37% | 41 |
| #16 | Steven Bills | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lonlei | 25 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Cardo | 22 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | f12h | 22 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | t0fu | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Huch | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f12h | 1038 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #2 | Cardo | 633 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | lonlei | 625 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #4 | Huch | 342 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | Rygoodie | 303 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f12h | +3.66 | 67 | 71 |
| #2 | KouwyNツ | +3.08 | 80 | 64 |
| #3 | GamerGoodie | +3.00 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | BeanFerrett | +2.31 | 63 | 75 |
| #5 | Huch | +2.29 | 78 | 64 |





