








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 322 | 22% |
| Smokes | 375 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 418 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 356 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,558 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PHYLO | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | Wojk | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | sEq | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | jookie | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Luffy | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sEq | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Wojk | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | otis | 134 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | PHYLO | 116 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | sEq | 51 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Wojk | 27 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | jookie | 27 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | otis | +3.64 | 89 | 75 |
| #2 | 「Jay_Liter」 | +2.48 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | Kurtle | +2.38 | 68 | 52 |
| #4 | PHYLO | +1.99 | 83 | 81 |
| #5 | sEq | -0.48 | 73 | 78 |





