










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 600 | 26% |
| Smokes | 614 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 615 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 443 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $167,748 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 猪大白 | 42% | 19 |
| #10 | Kurtle | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | 𝕡𝕙𝕪𝕝𝕠 | 32% | 19 |
| #12 | sEqueL | 13% | 15 |
| #13 | wristhack | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sEqueL | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | thr!ce | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | rickels | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕡𝕙𝕪𝕝𝕠 | 88 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | 猪大白 | 80 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | sEqueL | 52 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | thr!ce | 40 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | rickels | 38 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | razzsu | +2.74 | 92 | 61 |
| #2 | 𝕡𝕙𝕪𝕝𝕠 | +2.27 | 79 | 74 |
| #3 | rickels | +1.63 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | 猪大白 | +1.62 | 78 | 69 |
| #5 | thr!ce | +1.47 | 53 | 63 |





