








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2812 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2936 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1499 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1994 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $756,051 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jookie | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Milf & Cookies | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | otis | 56% | 73 |
| #4 | ゆかりん | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Zest CS.MONEY bitskins.com | 54% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zest CS.MONEY bitskins.com | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ☭ Duck666 | 15 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Intergalactic Glizzy Gobbler | 13 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Milf & Cookies | 10 | 0.0172 |
| #5 | juan | 8 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zest CS.MONEY bitskins.com | 714 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | PHYLO | 397 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | otis | 352 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | Intergalactic Glizzy Gobbler | 261 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | sEq | 253 | 0.16 | 7 min |





