








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 167 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2365 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2421 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3436 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2833 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,544,562 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 656 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thiccums McLarge | 52% | 93 |
| #2 | JANK BOTEKO | 51% | 47 |
| #3 | PillowVsPillow | 48% | 92 |
| #4 | Deominator64 | 41% | 260 |
| #5 | meowie | 39% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | meowie | 39% | 166 |
| #6 | lush | 39% | 85 |
| #7 | ch4nn3L | 39% | 31 |
| #8 | Big Boi HUHngee | 31% | 70 |
| #9 | moRrow | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deominator64 | 41 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | meowie | 21 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | PillowVsPillow | 14 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Thiccums McLarge | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | ch4nn3L | 6 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deominator64 | 1213 | 0.23 | 35 min |
| #2 | lush | 403 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | PillowVsPillow | 230 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | moRrow | 141 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | meowie | 137 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thiccums McLarge | +4.87 | 86 | 47 |
| #2 | Deominator64 | +4.73 | 59 | 74 |
| #3 | moRrow | +4.16 | 62 | 65 |
| #4 | lush | +2.42 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | PillowVsPillow | +1.28 | 44 | 69 |





