








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 274 | 12% |
| Smokes | 316 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 839 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 921 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $554,424 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lush | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | JANK BOTEKO | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | ch4nn3L | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | Thiccums McLarge | 45% | 64 |
| #5 | Deominator64 | 38% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | meowie | 33% | 93 |
| #7 | moRrow | 32% | 22 |
| #8 | $10/kg pork supplier | 31% | 70 |
| #9 | PillowVsPillow | 31% | 45 |
| #10 | chozo | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meowie | 15 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Deominator64 | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | $10/kg pork supplier | 10 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Thiccums McLarge | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | moRrow | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deominator64 | 880 | 0.25 | 26 min |
| #2 | lush | 169 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | $10/kg pork supplier | 139 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | PillowVsPillow | 133 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | meowie | 107 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thiccums McLarge | +5.00 | 83 | 47 |
| #2 | Deominator64 | +4.59 | 56 | 76 |
| #3 | moRrow | +1.65 | 58 | 72 |
| #4 | lush | +1.55 | 67 | 75 |
| #5 | PillowVsPillow | +1.14 | 48 | 69 |





