








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4085 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3043 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3298 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2811 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $905,009 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ch4nn3L | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | Thiccums McLarge | 55% | 148 |
| #3 | lush | 53% | 73 |
| #4 | moRrow | 52% | 60 |
| #5 | JANK BOTEKO | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | JANK BOTEKO | 50% | 48 |
| #6 | Deominator64 | 49% | 311 |
| #7 | $10/kg pork supplier | 48% | 92 |
| #8 | meowie | 45% | 229 |
| #9 | Big Boi HUHngee | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meowie | 46 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Deominator64 | 39 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | $10/kg pork supplier | 14 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Thiccums McLarge | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ch4nn3L | 8 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deominator64 | 1372 | 0.22 | 39 min |
| #2 | lush | 400 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #3 | moRrow | 275 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | meowie | 214 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | $10/kg pork supplier | 176 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deominator64 | +3.72 | 58 | 74 |
| #2 | Thiccums McLarge | +3.32 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | moRrow | +2.81 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | lush | +1.01 | 72 | 73 |
| #5 | PillowVsPillow | -0.21 | 46 | 69 |





