








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 728 | 30% |
| Smokes | 693 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 438 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 534 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $487,929 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 470 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I am not racist | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Whistle baby | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Lui | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Japanese Shia Labeouf | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | CHINA8964 | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Whistle baby | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Lui | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Japanese Shia Labeouf | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | CHINA8964 | 54% | 28 |
| #6 | FROST | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHINA8964 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | I am not racist | 1 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHINA8964 | 76 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | FROST | 23 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lui | 19 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Whistle baby | 13 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | Japanese Shia Labeouf | 11 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I am not racist | +5.04 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | Whistle baby | +4.22 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | The Soul | +2.74 | 91 | 61 |
| #4 | CHINA8964 | +2.40 | 70 | 50 |
| #5 | Lui | +0.63 | 56 | 39 |





