








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1689 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1460 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 927 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 827 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $582,979 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1749 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ken66950 | 58% | 59 |
| #2 | Naut | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | YeetgerMeister | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | The Soul | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | ✪kiriu | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eghh | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | YeetgerMeister | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Whistle baby | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Ken66950 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | YalamMagic | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whistle baby | 148 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Eghh | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ken66950 | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | YalamMagic | 74 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Naut | 53 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lil Squirt | +3.20 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | Eghh | +2.64 | 69 | 55 |
| #3 | The Soul | +2.05 | 92 | 59 |
| #4 | CHINA8964 | +1.83 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Whistle baby | +1.43 | 72 | 53 |





