








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 711 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3431 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7797 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5492 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5476 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6525 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $742,397 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 472 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Udium | 59% | 174 |
| #2 | Sorry? | 52% | 103 |
| #3 | Migga_Baboon | 50% | 102 |
| #4 | Mega_Baboon | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | maxloo2 | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mega_Baboon | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | maxloo2 | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | Puttlom | 40% | 40 |
| #7 | Hei Loo | 33% | 69 |
| #8 | Kel | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Migga_Baboon | 21 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Hei Loo | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | maxloo2 | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Udium | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Mega_Baboon | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Migga_Baboon | 493 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | Udium | 465 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Hei Loo | 188 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Puttlom | 158 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | maxloo2 | 124 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Udium | +4.72 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | FROST | +1.49 | 51 | 72 |
| #3 | maxloo2 | +1.01 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | Mega_Baboon | -1.02 | 47 | 44 |
| #5 | Puttlom | -1.12 | 45 | 53 |





