








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 759 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2293 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1984 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1784 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1990 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,471 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalsu | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | LosuB | 70% | 88 |
| #3 | Aero | 69% | 94 |
| #4 | Vipu- | 66% | 29 |
| #5 | rauhis | 63% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rauhis | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | LosuB | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | pasi | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | kurqi | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Noname | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aero | 458 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | LosuB | 300 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | rauhis | 194 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | kurqi | 136 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | kalsu | 124 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LosuB | +4.52 | 81 | 79 |
| #2 | j | +2.87 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Vipu- | +1.58 | 61 | 71 |
| #4 | kurqi | +0.64 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | kalsu | +0.56 | 79 | 57 |





