








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 532 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3366 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2146 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2620 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2215 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,224,330 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zimo | 57% | 40 |
| #2 | 素晴らしい | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | keila | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | kurqi | 51% | 165 |
| #5 | vladis | 51% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | vladis | 51% | 152 |
| #6 | quido | 49% | 68 |
| #7 | Lyijy Allan | 48% | 54 |
| #8 | Juoppoo :3 | 47% | 47 |
| #9 | mirBBe | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurqi | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | vladis | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | quido | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Juoppoo :3 | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | 素晴らしい | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurqi | 863 | 0.26 | 25 min |
| #2 | vladis | 212 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | quido | 184 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lyijy Allan | 140 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Juoppoo :3 | 140 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zimo | +5.79 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | keila | +5.32 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | 素晴らしい | +2.48 | 86 | 55 |
| #4 | vladis | +1.99 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | kurqi | +1.02 | 69 | 69 |





