








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1319 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2595 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2805 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3398 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,298,881 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | s1mpatico | 41% | 27 |
| #7 | Robby | 40% | 30 |
| #8 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 39% | 46 |
| #9 | Mr. Washy Washy | 37% | 51 |
| #10 | η♡να | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 22 | 0.0240 |
| #2 | η♡να | 14 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Mr. Washy Washy | 11 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | Robby | 9 | 0.0157 |
| #5 | T3rpboy | 8 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GREEN BASTARD | 218 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | dubois.charles | 169 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | 155 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | T3rpboy | 147 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr. Washy Washy | 132 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x00dy | +4.04 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | DuneKoon | +2.48 | 62 | 53 |
| #3 | Pill Pusher Pushin' P | +2.05 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | s1mpatico | +0.79 | 67 | 54 |
| #5 | T3rpboy | +0.61 | 45 | 70 |





