








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1081 | 7% |
| Smokes | 3389 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6195 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 4509 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,122,644 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jade | 55% | 138 |
| #2 | chug | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | vrtgx. | 49% | 258 |
| #4 | Erm what the spruce | 47% | 121 |
| #5 | Mini | 47% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jade | 274 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mini | 222 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | vrtgx. | 213 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | Erm what the spruce | 129 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | chug | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | +4.70 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | 𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫 | +2.87 | 67 | 48 |
| #3 | vrtgx. | +1.66 | 83 | 49 |
| #4 | jade | -0.98 | 53 | 50 |
| #5 | Mini | -1.07 | 54 | 33 |





