








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 586 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1701 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2148 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2717 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1913 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,284,218 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bäzingen | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | p4905 | 51% | 91 |
| #3 | jade | 49% | 93 |
| #4 | 𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫 | 49% | 258 |
| #5 | schizoid | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | 319 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | jade | 202 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | 𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫 | 160 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mini | 98 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Erm what the spruce | 77 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4905 | +3.92 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | 𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫 | +2.04 | 65 | 50 |
| #3 | vrtgx. | +0.87 | 81 | 52 |
| #4 | schizoid | -0.74 | 76 | 23 |
| #5 | jade | -0.80 | 56 | 54 |





