








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 212 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4376 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4164 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2740 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4558 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,743 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaSaTo | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Mojito | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Jacks | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | deepforce123 | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | sexual lubricant phone | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaSaTo | 711 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | deepforce123 | 663 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | sexual lubricant phone | 422 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #4 | Jacks | 254 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Galileo | 249 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swoub | +3.30 | 64 | 75 |
| #2 | Rasta Smurf | +1.78 | 57 | 46 |
| #3 | JaSaTo | +1.70 | 76 | 72 |
| #4 | Hiro | +1.44 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | Amzsyy | +0.68 | 59 | 44 |





