








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 339 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 239 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3431 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3657 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2812 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2969 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,468,750 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amzsyy | 66% | 50 |
| #2 | nLite | 61% | 56 |
| #3 | deepforce123 | 54% | 112 |
| #4 | swoub | 54% | 232 |
| #5 | sexual lubricant phone | 53% | 293 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | swoub | 54% | 232 |
| #5 | sexual lubricant phone | 53% | 293 |
| #6 | JaSaTo | 52% | 169 |
| #7 | 09manny90 | 51% | 80 |
| #8 | Galileo | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sexual lubricant phone | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Galileo | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | JaSaTo | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | swoub | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Amzsyy | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sexual lubricant phone | 1514 | 0.24 | 33 min |
| #2 | JaSaTo | 750 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #3 | swoub | 654 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #4 | Galileo | 468 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #5 | deepforce123 | 462 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swoub | +2.33 | 69 | 75 |
| #2 | JaSaTo | +1.96 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | nLite | +1.24 | 81 | 29 |
| #4 | deepforce123 | +0.49 | 54 | 69 |
| #5 | Amzsyy | +0.01 | 66 | 58 |





