








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 923 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 369 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 339 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




125 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7655 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7088 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8336 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6238 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,711,266 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 401 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriph | 58% | 191 |
| #2 | note | 55% | 149 |
| #3 | holmlin | 54% | 457 |
| #4 | Bored Halal Ape | 52% | 578 |
| #5 | båby | 52% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | note | 55% | 149 |
| #3 | holmlin | 54% | 457 |
| #4 | Bored Halal Ape | 52% | 578 |
| #5 | båby | 52% | 240 |
| #6 | Thundervairon | 43% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bored Halal Ape | 93 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | holmlin | 38 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Kriph | 24 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | båby | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | note | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bored Halal Ape | 2059 | 0.18 | 64 min |
| #2 | holmlin | 1239 | 0.14 | 34 min |
| #3 | båby | 553 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #4 | note | 288 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kriph | 276 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | båby | +2.21 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | Bored Halal Ape | +1.15 | 58 | 87 |
| #3 | holmlin | +0.58 | 64 | 76 |
| #4 | Kluxn | +0.15 | 58 | 80 |
| #5 | note | +0.02 | 74 | 78 |





