








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 123 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2553 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2308 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2918 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2912 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $873,389 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | note | 61% | 51 |
| #2 | Fagott | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Kriph | 58% | 83 |
| #4 | Bored Halal Ape | 54% | 259 |
| #5 | holmlin | 54% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kriph | 58% | 83 |
| #4 | Bored Halal Ape | 54% | 259 |
| #5 | holmlin | 54% | 193 |
| #6 | Thundervairon | 52% | 105 |
| #7 | Kluxn | 52% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kluxn | 41 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Bored Halal Ape | 25 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | holmlin | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Kriph | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | note | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kluxn | 941 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | Bored Halal Ape | 911 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #3 | holmlin | 580 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | Thundervairon | 148 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kriph | 126 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | båby | +2.79 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | Bored Halal Ape | +0.99 | 59 | 85 |
| #3 | holmlin | +0.15 | 66 | 78 |
| #4 | note | +0.10 | 73 | 76 |
| #5 | Kluxn | -0.13 | 58 | 79 |





