








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3151 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3173 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3805 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3091 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,251,099 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turbotåb | 54% | 141 |
| #2 | båby | 52% | 105 |
| #3 | Ryuzaki | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Fagott | 49% | 96 |
| #5 | Bored Halal Ape | 49% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kluxn | 10 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Bored Halal Ape | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Turbotåb | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | båby | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Hennjes01 | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turbotåb | 432 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | Simp Delphine | 321 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | båby | 309 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Bored Halal Ape | 263 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kluxn | 252 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryuzaki | +6.82 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | Turbotåb | +4.89 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | båby | +4.16 | 77 | 70 |
| #4 | Bored Halal Ape | +1.40 | 51 | 82 |
| #5 | holmlin | +0.84 | 74 | 76 |





