








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 561 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 214 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6581 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6318 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6517 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5553 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $606,551 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriph | 59% | 181 |
| #2 | note | 54% | 157 |
| #3 | båby | 54% | 193 |
| #4 | Kluxn | 54% | 457 |
| #5 | Bored Halal Ape | 53% | 485 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | note | 54% | 157 |
| #3 | båby | 54% | 193 |
| #4 | Kluxn | 54% | 457 |
| #5 | Bored Halal Ape | 53% | 485 |
| #6 | Thundervairon | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kluxn | 100 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Bored Halal Ape | 74 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Kriph | 24 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | båby | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | note | 6 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bored Halal Ape | 1771 | 0.19 | 54 min |
| #2 | Kluxn | 1740 | 0.20 | 45 min |
| #3 | båby | 426 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | note | 322 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Kriph | 265 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | båby | +2.38 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | Bored Halal Ape | +1.07 | 60 | 87 |
| #3 | holmlin | +0.59 | 65 | 76 |
| #4 | Kluxn | +0.03 | 59 | 80 |
| #5 | note | -0.02 | 74 | 78 |





