








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 383 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 307 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8481 | 23% |
| Smokes | 9062 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 10565 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8010 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $990,978 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kriph | 58% | 205 |
| #2 | båby | 54% | 259 |
| #3 | note | 54% | 158 |
| #4 | holmlin | 53% | 485 |
| #5 | Kluxn | 52% | 578 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | båby | 54% | 259 |
| #3 | note | 54% | 158 |
| #4 | holmlin | 53% | 485 |
| #5 | Kluxn | 52% | 578 |
| #6 | Thundervairon | 49% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kluxn | 122 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | holmlin | 42 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Kriph | 25 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | båby | 19 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | note | 6 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kluxn | 2234 | 0.20 | 56 min |
| #2 | holmlin | 1323 | 0.14 | 36 min |
| #3 | båby | 607 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #4 | note | 314 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | Kriph | 300 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | båby | +2.36 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | Bored Halal Ape | +1.22 | 59 | 86 |
| #3 | holmlin | +0.61 | 64 | 76 |
| #4 | Kluxn | +0.18 | 58 | 80 |
| #5 | note | +0.16 | 73 | 78 |





