








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 519 | 21% |
| Smokes | 698 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 651 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 605 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,437 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRACKERVIRUS | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | shanomul | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | hotp0pp3r | 47% | 51 |
| #4 | KRABBY | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | Liam | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Dzd | 41% | 34 |
| #7 | cooLeR | 37% | 43 |
| #8 | sp00n | 32% | 44 |
| #9 | Padge | 31% | 29 |
| #10 | Mikey | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hotp0pp3r | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | sp00n | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Mikey | 2 | 0.0153 |
| #4 | KRABBY | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | TRACKERVIRUS | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cooLeR | 198 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | sp00n | 142 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | hotp0pp3r | 126 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Padge | 91 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dzd | 76 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikey | +2.43 | 62 | 70 |
| #2 | Dzd | +2.38 | 86 | 50 |
| #3 | TRACKERVIRUS | +2.04 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | cooLeR | +1.40 | 67 | 78 |
| #5 | sp00n | +1.09 | 67 | 69 |





