








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 204 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5240 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4284 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3389 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2961 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,343,896 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 722 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Figgy | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | napG0D | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | Liam | 57% | 175 |
| #4 | Dzd | 56% | 133 |
| #5 | cooLeR | 55% | 339 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cooLeR | 55% | 339 |
| #6 | Padge | 54% | 231 |
| #7 | hotp0pp3r | 54% | 26 |
| #8 | shanomul | 54% | 41 |
| #9 | Big C | 32% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cooLeR | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Padge | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Liam | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Dzd | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Big C | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cooLeR | 1855 | 0.26 | 57 min |
| #2 | Padge | 738 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | Liam | 493 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | Dzd | 270 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | shanomul | 135 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Padge | +1.21 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | cooLeR | +0.90 | 69 | 78 |
| #3 | sp00n | +0.69 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | Dzd | +0.59 | 81 | 55 |
| #5 | Liam | -0.17 | 70 | 58 |





