








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1629 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1502 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1186 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1030 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,296 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | napG0D | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | cooLeR | 57% | 133 |
| #3 | Liam | 57% | 111 |
| #4 | sp00n | 56% | 133 |
| #5 | shanomul | 56% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | shanomul | 56% | 41 |
| #6 | Padge | 53% | 94 |
| #7 | hotp0pp3r | 45% | 38 |
| #8 | KRABBY | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | Big C | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sp00n | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Big C | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | cooLeR | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Padge | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | hotp0pp3r | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cooLeR | 929 | 0.32 | 28 min |
| #2 | sp00n | 537 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | Padge | 344 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Liam | 280 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | shanomul | 150 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dzd | +1.13 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Padge | +0.80 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | cooLeR | +0.76 | 68 | 79 |
| #4 | sp00n | +0.25 | 60 | 66 |
| #5 | Liam | +0.12 | 70 | 58 |





