








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Italy | 192 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2025 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1723 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1434 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1479 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,469 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @therealhamlet | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | p4wN | 65% | 233 |
| #3 | eNergy | 63% | 123 |
| #4 | R0m3 AbYssUs | 63% | 73 |
| #5 | Hamlet | 59% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | p4wN | 65% | 233 |
| #3 | eNergy | 63% | 123 |
| #4 | R0m3 AbYssUs | 63% | 73 |
| #5 | Hamlet | 59% | 122 |
| #6 | Xeno | 57% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4wN | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Hamlet | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Xeno | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | eNergy | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p4wN | 525 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | Xeno | 140 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | eNergy | 56 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hamlet | 39 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | R0m3 AbYssUs | 17 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @therealhamlet | +2.87 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | Xeno | +2.76 | 86 | 49 |
| #3 | p4wN | +2.73 | 85 | 58 |
| #4 | eNergy | +1.84 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | R0m3 AbYssUs | +1.43 | 81 | 42 |





