








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 393 | 20% |
| Smokes | 335 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 758 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 475 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,492 of utility $274 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Julleva687 | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | aapo! | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | komi | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | TaZeee | 64% | 28 |
| #5 | SuveJones | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SuveJones | 63% | 16 |
| #6 | GaS pRiCeS aRen'T tHaT hiGh | 63% | 16 |
| #7 | Yks palli | 60% | 77 |
| #8 | Naapuri | 50% | 42 |
| #9 | korjen orqu (2) | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naapuri | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Yks palli | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | GaS pRiCeS aRen'T tHaT hiGh | 4 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | TaZeee | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | komi | 2 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yks palli | 131 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Naapuri | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | TaZeee | 94 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | aapo! | 44 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | GaS pRiCeS aRen'T tHaT hiGh | 41 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aapo! | +3.59 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Yks palli | +2.81 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | komi | +2.31 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | TaZeee | +1.45 | 78 | 61 |
| #5 | mammothsausage | +1.23 | 85 | 45 |





