








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 934 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5728 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7368 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8216 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5706 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,935,990 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 617 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuveJones | 61% | 208 |
| #2 | TaZeee | 55% | 233 |
| #3 | Naapuri | 52% | 504 |
| #4 | Yks palli | 51% | 722 |
| #5 | Julleva687 | 50% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yks palli | 123 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Naapuri | 38 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | GaS pRiCeS aRen'T tHaT hiGh | 34 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | TaZeee | 31 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | aapo! | 27 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naapuri | 1627 | 0.16 | 39 min |
| #2 | Yks palli | 1069 | 0.07 | 27 min |
| #3 | TaZeee | 791 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #4 | aapo! | 639 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #5 | GaS pRiCeS aRen'T tHaT hiGh | 381 | 0.12 | 10 min |





