








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Wingman | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10847 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9930 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9075 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7644 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,466,115 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 592 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Yks palli | 54% | 787 |
| #6 | Julleva687 | 53% | 135 |
| #7 | korjen orqu (2) | 52% | 504 |
| #8 | GaS pRiCeS aRen'T tHaT hiGh | 46% | 122 |
| #9 | HiiriHiirulainen | 42% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yks palli | 114 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | GaS pRiCeS aRen'T tHaT hiGh | 38 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | Julleva687 | 37 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | korjen orqu (2) | 28 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | TaZeee | 19 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yks palli | 1034 | 0.07 | 24 min |
| #2 | korjen orqu (2) | 771 | 0.08 | 20 min |
| #3 | TaZeee | 482 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | Noname | 467 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #5 | GaS pRiCeS aRen'T tHaT hiGh | 317 | 0.13 | 8 min |





