








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 757 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 869 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2645 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2753 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2653 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,318,877 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | kassipoeg | 43% | 49 |
| #9 | Podefiili | 39% | 126 |
| #10 | Poika Patiksesta | 39% | 62 |
| #11 | Blazu | 33% | 51 |
| #12 | MrKrau | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | auttava käsi | 32 | 0.0208 |
| #2 | Heiskju | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Podefiili | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Blazu | 10 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Bllω | 9 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bllω | 573 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Heiskju | 232 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Poika Patiksesta | 230 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | jelmukka | 166 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Podefiili | 118 | 0.04 | 3 min |





