








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 252 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1434 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3408 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2289 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2721 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,265,557 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wander | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | Henkkuli | 48% | 108 |
| #3 | jelmukka | 46% | 54 |
| #4 | Dr. Ored | 46% | 63 |
| #5 | toumai | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | kassipoeg | 33% | 27 |
| #13 | KebabPeetu LVL 10 | 31% | 29 |
| #14 | Heiskju | 29% | 28 |
| #15 | Poika Patiksesta | 28% | 36 |
| #16 | Podefiili | 26% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | auttava käsi | 13 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Poika Patiksesta | 10 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | Henkkuli | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Da4vid | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Dr. Ored | 5 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkkuli | 302 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Bllω | 259 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | ana | 145 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Poika Patiksesta | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | jelmukka | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eem1L | +2.58 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | Bllω | +1.72 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | temppu | +0.75 | 60 | 66 |
| #4 | toumai | -0.38 | 73 | 45 |
| #5 | Dr. Ored | -0.50 | 55 | 41 |





