








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,320 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3412 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3264 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2806 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1838 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,042,152 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 412 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Da4vid | 41% | 170 |
| #9 | Poika Patiksesta | 39% | 82 |
| #10 | eem1L | 38% | 115 |
| #11 | Podefiili | 35% | 203 |
| #12 | kassipoeg | 34% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | auttava käsi | 28 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | Heiskju | 13 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Poika Patiksesta | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Da4vid | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Dr. Ored | 9 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heiskju | 379 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Poika Patiksesta | 302 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | jelmukka | 250 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | eem1L | 183 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Podefiili | 169 | 0.04 | 4 min |





