








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 578 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2060 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2959 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3838 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2806 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,993 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 736 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Benderr | 57% | 56 |
| #12 | pacific shawty | 57% | 58 |
| #13 | kita | 57% | 23 |
| #14 | The Coach | 55% | 29 |
| #15 | sealskis11 | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rise | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | sealskis11 | 7 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | kita | 5 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | KILLBOT | 4 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | pacific shawty | 3 | 0.0026 |





