








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2063 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2289 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2089 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2058 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $407,369 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pašteta | 69% | 52 |
| #2 | LukaTheDragon | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | -staRiTTo ? | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Klutch | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | DusntAxe | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LukaTheDragon | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | DusntAxe | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | -staRiTTo ? | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pašteta | 204 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | DusntAxe | 128 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #3 | -staRiTTo ? | 126 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #4 | LukaTheDragon | 95 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Klutch | 94 | 0.27 | 3 min |





