








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3837 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4381 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3718 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3098 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,317,163 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cute R0bder-kun | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Oh Rly?!? | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | ✪ Slone ツ | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Cold as Ice | 49% | 128 |
| #5 | Alachadmaga | 49% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roibron | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Alachadmaga | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | EinsOkr1m | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | BG Bierbank | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Cold as Ice | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roibron | 809 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | Cold as Ice | 401 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | EinsOkr1m | 360 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #4 | Alachadmaga | 348 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | Scheimbutzer. | 208 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobarschius | +2.31 | 70 | 67 |
| #2 | EinsOkr1m | +1.77 | 73 | 71 |
| #3 | Cute R0bder-kun | +1.75 | 70 | 69 |
| #4 | Schlechte Gewohnheiten 8 | +1.56 | 43 | 62 |
| #5 | Oh Rly?!? | +0.85 | 66 | 63 |





