








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2314 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2925 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2844 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2322 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,781 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobarschius | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | BG Bierbank | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | roibron | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Cold as Ice | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Schlechte Gewohnheiten 8 | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roibron | 665 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | Tobarschius | 475 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | Cold as Ice | 236 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | EinsOkr1m | 170 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | Scheimbutzer. | 161 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EinsOkr1m | +3.16 | 71 | 73 |
| #2 | Tobarschius | +3.16 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | Oh Rly?!? | +2.46 | 66 | 65 |
| #4 | Schlechte Gewohnheiten 8 | +0.54 | 46 | 61 |
| #5 | roibron | +0.33 | 53 | 61 |





