








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1381 | 35% |
| Smokes | 738 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 770 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1085 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,404 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | antli0n | 59% | 17 |
| #10 | Gaben Heal My Gambling Addiction | 57% | 14 |
| #11 | Blueberry | 50% | 12 |
| #12 | Wocktor Phil | 47% | 30 |
| #13 | dyran | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | canter | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | iguana | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | dyran | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ✪ClappyBats | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | I've Been Worse | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | canter | 331 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | iguana | 257 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Wocktor Phil | 159 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ClappyBats | 151 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | I've Been Worse | 129 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ClappyBats | +4.64 | 88 | 79 |
| #2 | canter | +3.09 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | Griz | +2.30 | 78 | 76 |
| #4 | iguana | +2.02 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | halcyoN | +1.24 | 71 | 65 |





