








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,382 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 935 | 28% |
| Smokes | 617 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 687 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1143 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,988 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robert I. | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | Danny | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Hans Wurst | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | 𝓚 𝖆 𝖒 𝖎 ™ | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | LAURI TÖRNI | 70% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | g1bg4b | 50% | 10 |
| #16 | Brind | 50% | 22 |
| #17 | Adrian Pralla | 46% | 13 |
| #18 | wsly | 38% | 8 |
| #19 | Schnegge_V3 | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | megalopolik | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Brind | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Sparkyy | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Robert I. | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | 173 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | megalopolik | 160 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Nata | 142 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lysop | 112 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Adrian Pralla | 62 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | +5.59 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | megalopolik | +4.26 | 94 | 66 |
| #3 | ostelito | +3.98 | 87 | 67 |
| #4 | LAURI TÖRNI | +3.55 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Sparkyy | +2.50 | 82 | 70 |





